Have you ever watched a film, or perhaps a TV show, and loved it SO much that you felt compelled to continue the story? If that urge sounds familiar, welcome to fan fiction.
For the uninitiated, fan fiction is ‘fiction written by a fan’. Some fan fiction is innocent, and driven by story alone, but not all of it is, and that’s where people’s creativity really comes into play.
Fan fiction is often dirty - as the deepest, darkest fantasies of the fans are immortalised on paper or screen, and unwritten stories come to life - but who out there gets the most creative online? We got curious at UberKinky so delved deep into some of the damn right dirtiest fan fiction from across TV and movies. But which is the dirtiest fandom of them all?
After a deep and very dirty dive into the world of fan fiction, numbers were crunched to discover which fandom out there, across film and television, is the filthiest. We looked into some of the most popular and long-standing TV and movie favourites over the years and examined everything from language used to how many times the subjects had an orgasm.
Studying every “fuck”, “suck”, “pussy”, “dildo” and more across over half a million words of erotic fan fiction, the world of X-Men came out on top, with a staggering 369 dirty words for every 10,000, just edging ahead of Sex and the City and Twilight which came out in second with 364 and 361 dirty words per 10,000 respectively.
At the other end of the spectrum, fans of Dr Who are less likely to write the Doctor into a sexy situation, with less than 100 dirty words for every 10,000, while Spiderman fans seemingly much prefer to see Peter Parker firing his webbing than his load.
The Top Five: The Erotic Stars of the Screen
Let’s cover the small screen first. It’s unsurprising to see Sex and the City top this list. During its tenure, the series catapulted the Rabbit vibrator to fame and turned it into a pop culture sensation. Friends may shock some, although 10 years of watching six close friends is bound to kick the imagination into overdrive. And those who are familiar with the long-running series won’t be surprised to see Supernatural in the top three; whose fandom is home to numerous ships (where fans root for two characters) and passionate shippers.
When it comes to the silver screen, the results may surprise you… X-Men has long been seen as a staple in the comic book world, with the characters more concerned with saving the world than boning one another. Twilight will shock no one - it is the series that inspired Fifty Shades of Grey, after all. And as for Star Wars… Is nothing sacred anymore?
The Orgasmometer: Reaching the Climax
Every film or show reaches a climax, but in the case of erotic fan fiction that can be again, and again… and again. The X-Men are at it like mutants, and the “Friends” are a bit too friendly. In total, across erotic fiction starring the likes of Wolverine, Magneto and Quicksilver you’ll find an orgasm every 124 words, while there’s nothing “solo” about Han in Star Wars, with orgasms being enjoyed every 242 words.
Minding the C’s & F’s: The most common dirty language
While it’s quite clear fans of TV and film are keen to express themselves with particular language, there are a wealth of common phrases and words that sit firmly in the vocabulary of erotic fan fiction’s most creative.
“Cock” takes up plenty of the word count throughout fan fiction, with Game of Thrones fans particular lovers of male genitalia, while “fuck” and “mouth” complete the top three most common dirty words found across the study.
P’s v V’s: The battle of the sexes
There’s no doubt that fan fiction authors have more fun with the male anatomy; penis, and synonyms of, were mentioned 29% more than female sex organs in the top five alone - but which fandom loves genitals the most?
Raiding the Props Department: Sex Toys in Fan Fiction
What’s a sex scene without a sex toy or two? You can’t do the job without the tools of the trade, so let’s see how many times characters reached for a helping hand. Across the 20 different TV shows and movies, sex toys were mentioned almost 200 times, with butt plugs the most popular. Interestingly, the “plug” of C-3PO was heavily featured in one particularly graphic chapter of a Star Wars title.
Dildos and vibrators were also popular among fan fiction writers, with Carrie and co. significantly enjoying the latter in one chapter. Should we expect anything less from a show called Sex and the City?
You’ll often find thirsty fans on social media, telling the world how much they fancy one actor, or how much they’d like to bang another. But nobody has ever uncovered just which TV show or movie has the dirtiest fans. To uncover the answer once and for all, we took 10 of the most popular TV shows and films within the realms of fan fiction, and analysed their content.
Taking three erotic stories from each title, we counted the number of times a selection of “dirty” words featured in each. For consistency, the number of each word was then multiplied or divided to uncover how many times they would appear for every 10,000 words.
The dirty words were then broken down into the categories featured above, with the winners and losers then totalled. `