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Study finds men are more likely to think about someone else during sex

Picture the scene: coming home from a long day at work, you find your partner in a naughty mood and ready to give you their full attention. They’re longing for you, the flames of passion practically setting your home on fire. It’s time for some hot lovin’, you’re in the moment, “ahhs” and “oohhs” galore, but all the while, their mind is firmly fixed on Karen from work…

That’s right, a new survey commissioned by UberKinky has found that the nation’s mind really does wander during those intimate moments, with men (a staggering 40% to be exact) more likely to think about a colleague during sex compared to women. Ouch.

Exes, celebs and colleagues on the brain

In fact, men are not only more likely to think of co-workers when in the moment. Oh no. The UK study found that men are also more likely to think of ex-partners and celebrities when getting down and dirty, with the data showing that men are 23% more likely to think of an ex-partner and 8% more likely to think of a celeb during sex. 


sex survey


Women more likely to be thinking of household chores during sex

The numbers showed that women were 26% more likely to think about household chores and errands during sex, with nearly two fifths having done so. So that means the idea of sorting another load of washing may be creeping into the mind when your partner is, ahem, trying to sort a load off with you. And with that thought, this sexy maid costume may be the perfect accessory. 


sex survey


Older generation more likely to have minds wander

When focusing on age, it’s actually the older generations that are more likely to let their minds drift during intimate moments, whereas the younger age groups were most likely to stay focused. But for those in the younger generation group - Gen Z and millennials - that did have minds on other things, it was most likely to be their celeb crush.

It seems the chances of other things popping up in the mind when getting intimate increases with age, with only 4% of those aged 35-44 actually admitting to staying in the moment and focusing on sex. On the flip side, the same age group were the second most likely to be thinking of their celebrity crushes.

Moving up the age ladder, Gen X are most likely to think about an ex-partner, whereas boomers are more likely to think about household chores or errands. And those over 65 are more likely to be thinking about a friend. Don’t tell your grandparents. 


sex survey


Work and exes most likely on the mind for younger generations

When it comes to the younger generation, those under the age of 34 were most likely to think about work during sex. So next time you get down to business, your partner may be thinking about business indeed. 25 to 34-year-olds were the age range most likely to think about ex-partners; a brutal reflection on their current partners.

Overall, Brits most likely to think about chores during sex


sex survey


Putting age and gender aside, overall, Brits favour household chores and errands as a thought during sex with nearly a third of respondents (30%) saying so, beating the likes of colleagues, ex-partners, celebrities, friends, and work. The second most popular thought people have when engaged with their partner is about work, with a quarter (25%) of respondents confessing

A family affair?

It wasn’t all colleagues, chores and celebs that Brits were thinking about during the horizontal tango. Answers such as “her mum”, “his brother” and “family” also popped up in the survey. However, partners’ relatives weren’t a common thought overall. 

Cars, cats and cash on the brain

When you ask a nation what thoughts crop up during their alone time with lovers, you’re going to get some very insightful answers.

Among the other, less-fantasised-about topics were cars, watching movies, sport and money, whilst one woman really helped the crazy cat lady stereotype by saying her cat was on her mind. Well, for those who are ever feline a bit frisky, why not have some fun with a cat tail butt plug because yep, there’s something for everyone. 

And on a soppy, lovely note, one female in the 25-34 age group responded with: “how gorgeous she is”. Cue those awwws.

How to keep your mind on the prize - your partner  

So what does this survey tell us? Aside from the majority of us Brits think of chores when getting our kink on and that men are more likely to think of somebody else? It tells us we need to work at getting more in the mood and connected with our partners. It’s not out of the ordinary to have our minds wander once in a while; life gets on top of us sometimes and we may subconsciously drift. But if you find yourself zoning out pretty much all the time when getting it on with your partner, then maybe it’s time to shake things up a bit and get a deeper connection. 

If you’ve found yourself stuck in a rut, where sex itself has become a chore and you’re just not feeling that spark like you used to, maybe you both just need some sexual recalibration. To get the passion back, role play is a fun way to experiment with sex toys, dildos, and sexy lingerie. Choose a theme, pick a costume, and explore some deep-rooted desires. Seriously, we have plenty of toys and accessories to satisfy all kinds of kinks. From fantasy dragon dildos to animal dildos and tentacle dildos - take your pick. 

Contact our friendly, knowledgeable team today to find out what sex toys would suit your relationship. They’re more than happy to answer all of your questions. 

8 February 2022
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