A beginner’s guide to rimming

The ass is like the Holy Grail of sex. In teen years, it’s referred to as the elusive ‘fifth base’, but when you grow up, there’s a hell of a lot of misunderstandings about anal play, often before people have even dabbled.

That’s a shame; because here at UberKinky, we think you’re missing out if you’re not partaking in a little backdoor play. If you’re not quite ready to dive into full on anal sex - if you are, then head over to our beginner’s guide to anal sex - then rimming might be more your bag.

Wait, you’ve never heard of rimming? Let us educate you.

What is rimming?

Rimming. Analingus. Ass eating. Tossing the salad… Or, the act of using your tongue and mouth to stimulate the anus of another person. You can stick to the outer rim - hence where the name comes from - or you can dip in and out with the tongue.

Mouth + butt = rimming. Simple.

Preparation is key to rimming success

As much as the occasional surprise during consensual sex can be fun - a new position, etc. - rimming isn’t one of them. Don’t just go from eating someone out straight to their ass. Not only are they unlikely to be expecting it, but you also don’t know what they’re comfortable with. Before you dive into any kind of ass play, make sure everyone is on board. Sound awkward? If you’re not up to talking about it, then you’re definitely not ready to do it. Sorry not sorry.

Make sure you’re clean

Now assuming that everybody is on board and down to eat the peach, it’s time for some proper preparation. Let’s not beat around the bush, we all know what goes on back there. But, as long as the receiver is properly clean, there’s really no problem. The only way to ensure you’ll be completely clean is douching - squat, squirt, hold, repeat. If you’re tight on time, at the very least have a shower, and focus on a thorough clean of the back door.

Oh, and if you’re rimming anyone that also has a vagina, don't transfer back and forth between the two. Just, no.

Think about body hair

We’re not here to tell you how to handle your body hair, but it’s still worth discussing. If you let things go natural back there, then it’s well worth having an extra deep clean or removing the long hairs around the anus to avoid any, erm, poop, from lodging in and making the whole thing both awkward and gross.

Still use protection

Let’s get serious for a second; remember that STIs can still be transferred through rimming, the same as with penis and pussy play. If you’re playing with someone new, we recommend protecting with the use of a dental dam, which are just as effective with ass eating.

Get in position

Doggy style is the missionary of the rimming world; it’s a staple position. It’s comfortable for both the giver and receiver, gives you a fantastic view of what you’re working with, and you can still reach everything else without effort.

But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open to a little experimentation. Have your partner sit on a couch or chair and kneel in front of them for some up-close and personal action. Or have them lean against a kitchen counter - à la Marnie in ‘Girls’ in that scene - get on your knees and just go to town.

If you decide to make rimming a permanent addition to your sexual repetoire, add a sex stool to your playtime for ultimate backdoor access, and maximum stimulation.

Here’s how to actually rim

Before we dive into the actual technique of rimming and give you a few good old tips and tricks, it’s important to leave all your reservations and hesitations behind. If you’re going to do a lazy rim, then you may as well have not bothered at all. That doesn’t mean you should go at a jackhammer speed - no ass wants that - but rather be enthusiastic and enjoy every second of it.

With that said, ready to eat the peach?

Technique is everything

Sharp and pointy isn’t going to do the trick here. Keep your tongue flat and soft; gentle laps and teases around the general area. Think eating an ice cream, and you’re really enjoying that ice cream.

Start gentle, by licking the perineum - the spot in between the penis/vagina and the anus - and teasing the inner thighs - super sensual! Slowly tease the rim rather than just sticking your tongue in and out like a fry in ketchup. There’s a ton of nerve endings around this area; make it your goal to hit each and every one of them.

You don’t need to do anything fancy like writing their name with your tongue, spelling the alphabet, or rotating wildly like a washing machine on the fritz. Go slowly and respond to your partner. Check in with them every now and then to see if they like it or if they want to give you any specific direction.

And please, for the love of god, no teeth. The asshole was not built to be nibbled. Unless you’re into that.

Incorporate toys

While this wouldn’t technically be rimming, everyone’s mouth needs a break every now and then. Switch things up by adding a toy or two into the mix. Simulate the feeling of your tongue moving in and out with a dildo or you may wish to move onto an anal vibrator as you become more experienced. These delectably mimic the rimming sensation AND deliver intense internal stimulation simultaneously. If you’re inserting anything into the anus, always use lube - specifically anal lube for the smoothest glide. Remember, the ass doesn’t self-lubricate, and nobody wants additional friction back there. Once you’re wetted up, slide in gently, using your partner’s reaction as cues. If you/they are new to ass play, stick to small dildos for playtime that’s less intimidating.