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Beginner's Guide To Spanking

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No, we’re definitely NOT talking about your kids!

When it comes to BDSM and indeed a little bit of ‘slap and tickle’, it’s easy to see why spanking has become such a hit. Not only does it increase blood flow to the area in question, thereby making it more sensitive, it stimulates the nerve endings and releases waves of pleasurable endorphins. It also caters, somewhat satisfyingly, to the pain sluts and Dominants amongst us ;)

So, whether you want to ramp up your role play, awaken your inner adult baby, hone your humiliation play or set up your sensation play scene, you'll find all the information you need in this spanking 101!

Reasons You Should Try Spanking

Reasons You Should Try Spanking

Confused by caning? Not sure why spanking is such a hit? Well, there’s no hiding from it; it’s becoming an increasingly popular activity. So if you’ve never tried it, you’re really missing out and here are 5 reasons why;

Spanking - Endorphin Release

Let go! Experience a euphoric ‘natural high’...

Become a high-flyer on the spanking scene! This type of smack guarantees an unbeatable high. Waves of endorphins are released to counteract the pain signals being sent to the brain. They interact with the opiate receptors, having an effect similar to morphine or codeine. This results in an intense but natural ‘high’. In some cases it can actually lead to an altered state of consciousness. Free your mind; give it a go!

Spanking - Nerve Stimulation

It will really get on your nerves! The body confuses pain for pleasure, enhancing the sexual response...

Don’t be nervous! Spanking that beautiful backside will stimulate the pudendal nerve (major nerve supplying the genitals), increasing blood flow and causing the genitals to become engorged. The brain processes this stimulus as pleasure rather than pain and releases adrenaline. This causes the genitals to become further enlarged, thereby intensifying the whole experience. It’s certainly a time to let your nerves to get the better of you!

Spanking - The Look

Turn bottoms into a work of art and watch cheeks go red as you chastise and humiliate...

You might look like butter wouldn’t melt, but we know better! Spanking will have a huge impact on your life and guarantees to leave a lasting impression. The marks left behind not only act as a constant reminder of your fun, they make an incredibly sexy decoration too. Certain tools are likely to cause more severe marks than others, but one thing’s for sure; they’ll all take some serious slap to cover up!

Spanking - Heightened Sensitivity

Increased blood flow to the ‘sweet spot’ enhances every tantalising touch...

Let common sense prevail! Increased blood flow to the ‘sweet spot’ makes it all the more susceptible to every tantalising touch. Gently move the fingers over the skin, or even kiss, lick and tickle that sensitive spot to encourage an explosive physical reaction. Why not enjoy some supreme sensation play or implement other torturous tools to really get the most out of that heightened sensitivity? Just remember; play sensibly!

Spanking - Psychological Stimulation

Trust us, it’s mind as much as matter; feel a profound emotional connection...

although that superb stimulation isn’t all in the mind, some of it certainly will be. Experience a level of trust that you never thought possible, as boundaries are pushed but never overstepped, and connect with your partner on entirely new emotional level. Not only will it strengthen your relationship, it’s an incredible turn on that will trigger unbelievable psychological and physical responses. Prepare for a mind-blowing experience!


Safety First!

There’s no hiding from it, there are certain safety issues that need to be addressed prior to your impact play.

First of all, it is common for the bottom to acquire bruises as a result of this type of play. This is nothing to be concerned about; it is simply a consequence of blood vessels in the skin breaking. To limit swelling and reduce pain, treat the area with an ice pack for 20-30 minutes immediately after your scene has ended. Continue to do this 2-3 times daily for as long as required. Some people find that using Arnica or aloe vera gel helps to ease soreness and speed up the healing process. If bruises have not vanished after four weeks, please make an urgent appointment to see a doctor. This could be the result of more serious damage such as a strain or other muscle injury.

There is always a slight risk of the skin breaking, particularly when using canes and other long range implements. As such, with impact play, it is vital that precautionary measures are taken to avoid the spread of any blood borne diseases. If you plan to use with multiple partners, choose a tool made from non-porous material and make sure that it is thoroughly sanitised between each playtime. Additionally, it is essential to have a first aid kit nearby (complete with latex gloves and antibacterial cleaner). Most importantly of all, if deep cuts occur, stop immediately!

Finally, remember; too many blows to one place can be extremely painful. Try to alternate your target and frequency and always make sure the bottom has fully recovered before hitting them with round two.

Simply follow the advice in this spanking guide and your play will be perfect!



  • Keep a first aid kit nearby
  • Monitor reactions and body language
  • Stick to more muscular or fatty areas such as the buttock and the back of the thighs
  • Test tools prior to your play so that you are aware of the intensity
  • Practice on a sofa or a pillow to perfect aim
  • Agree on a safe word/action beforehand (take a look at our Beginner’s Guide To Safe Words for more information)


  • Play if you have taken blood thinning medication, including Warfarin or Aspirin
  • Hit too hard or frequently
  • Obstruct breathing or circulation in any way
  • Strike the spine, or anywhere near the kidneys and other vital organs
  • Overdo it! We don’t want bottoms with ‘leather butt’ (when skin is toughened, scarred and desensitised over time)
warm up

Warm Up

We’re sure you’re getting pretty hot just thinking about your impact play! However, it’s vital that you don’t get too excited and start sticking it to them without a proper warm up. As with any physical activity, the body needs to be prepared for what it is about to endure. So, whether clothed or naked, it’s time to get that adrenaline and blood pumping!

First things first; which part of the body are you planning to spank? It may come as no surprise, but the UberKinky ‘sweet spot’ is right on the tushy! You can’t beat a good rear-ending, especially with the increased blood flow and stimulation to the nearby genital region. although we do get a real kick out of hitting the back of the thighs form time to time. Others may prefer the hands, feet, shoulder blades or the breasts/pecs, but if you do decide on one of the latter, be sure to use a flogger and keep those hits swift and gentle.

Right, you’ve decided on your destination, but now what? Gently massage the area/s in a circular motion and squeeze the skin to increase blood flow. You may wish to warm the hands by rubbing them together first, that way you will avoid giving the bottom unwanted ‘chills’. Lightly rub/tickle the skin and then spank four times (on each buttock/hand/foot etc.) For striking the buttocks slightly cup the hand and move in an upward motion, following each spank with some genital stimulation. End with a fifth, more forceful slap.

We’re sure you’ve made those cheeks blush a little, so let chastising commence!



There’s no doubt about it, this play is about to make a great impact on your life! But are you really sure you know what you’re doing? Well fear not, UberKinky friends; that’s where we come in. After all, we don’t want you making any school boy/girl errors, do we?

So, when it comes to doling out your corporal punishment, first things first... assume the position! Choose a stance that is comfortable for you both. The more comfortable and relaxed the bottom is the longer that they will be able to withstand their punishment.

More traditional positions, including ‘over the knee’ and ‘lying down’ are perfect for short range implements and will allow the Dominant to get a greater force behind their swing. However, we recommend a restrained or standing position if your chosen ‘sweet spot’ is not on the buttocks. Flogging can be best enjoyed in an upright position, or restrained from a frame/cross.

There are many positions to be explored, but here are our UberKinky favourites;

Over the Knee (OTK)

You better follow UberKinky’s advice; otherwise we’ll put your over our knee! Okay, wrong audience ;) OTK is perhaps the most commonly used and popular of all the positions. The bottom will lie sideways over the Top’s knee and await their fate. Ideal for those using short range implements, this position also allows for easy restraint using an arm or leg.

Lying Down

‘Bottoms up’ everyone! An UberKinky frontrunner, this is one of the most comfortable and relaxing positions. Lying face down, usually on a bed, keeps the bottom on display making it perfect for humiliation play. For elevated pleasure that gives you both a real lift, try placing pillows beneath the hips. This is the UberKinky recommended beginner’s position.

Bent Over

Now we’re just bending over backwards to please you! A bent over position will stretch out the muscles and skin in the buttocks and upper thigh region, thereby making each hit much more intense. We don’t recommend this position to first timers, and grabbing the ankles is only for the very masochistic amongst us!


Are you ready to be tied down? Well, although restraints are not a necessity, they will certainly add a little something extra. In addition, they will keep the bottom firmly in their place and restrict movement, helping you to avoid hitting other delicate areas. It’s always harder to hit a moving target! You can tie up, down or to furniture, the choice is yours. Check out our Beginner’s Guide To Rope Bondage for some excellent video tutorials which may prove helpful.


ou may be in for a standing ovation after your UberKinky impact play! Well, standing whilst being spanked may be less painful than being bent over, however it is far less relaxing. Movement is also likely to affect the accuracy of the hits. For this reason, it may be a good idea for the bottom to have something to hold on to. Or, you could add a little restraint to your retribution!


For those really naughty pets! This will really show bottoms who their Master is. It will also keep that beautiful rear-end on display, for some heavenly humiliation play. The muscles and the skin are stretched whilst down on all fours, therefore the sensations are much more intense.

Spanking Anatomy


Please don’t be a tool when it comes to choosing your implement! Remember; this is a very important decision. You need to be aware of the strength and intensity of your chosen instrument, so that your play is always spot on. Here are some popular choices that have certainly made an impact on all of us here at UberKinky ;)



We’ve got to hand it to you; you really are giving this guide your undivided attention! The hand is the most commonly used tool when for impact play, but is arguably the least severe. The bottom should expect a thuddy sensation which is unlikely to leave any lasting damage such as welts or bruises. although excellent for stimulating the nerve endings, it is less painful than other tools and may therefore need more force behind it.



Caning delivers a sharp, intense and stingy pain, which is likely to leave marks and bruising on the skin. The lower end of the cane (rather than the tip) should be used, and to avoid injury it should never overlap the desired area. This tool is lightweight and easy to control, but don’t cane it; you don’t want to end up with lasting damage! For more information on the types of canes available and the different caning techniques you can use, check out our Beginner’s Guide To Caning.

Flogger/Cat-O-Nine Tails

Clove Hitch

A flogger consists of a whip-like handle with multiple thick tails. It is typically made from leather (or similar) and delivers an intense, thuddy pain with every strike. Floggers vary in the markings they leave on the skin due to the diversity of their movement. For those just starting out, we recommend a flogger with thick, rounded tails, although we know a lot of you think you know best... so we won't keep flogging a dead horse! For more information on the types of floggers available and the different flogging techniques you can use, check out our Beginner’s Guide To Flogging.



Avoid getting in too deep when you opt for a paddle! although less severe than many long range implements, paddling will deliver some nasty bruises. So don’t go overboard, we don’t want you damaging that muscle tissue. The thudding sensation experienced is somewhat similar to a hand; however it is much more intense. Typically a paddle has a handle and a wide surface area for covering all its bases. For more information on the types of paddles available and the different paddling techniques you can use, check out our Beginner’s Guide To Paddling.



For a submissive that is ‘whipped’ in more ways than one! Not only an impressive punishment device, a whip can also be utilised as a directional tool for some Demon HeadMaster/Mistress action. A whip is long and thin, with a real sting in its tail, which is likely to leave the bottom rosy cheeked and marked. Always practice with a whip beforehand and never use a bullwhip unless you have had significant training. For more information on the types of whips available and the different whipping techniques you can use, check out our Beginner’s Guide To Whips.

Riding Crop

riding crop

So, you think you’re ready for a riding crop? Whoa, slow down! You’ll have to work your way up to a stinger like this. The slightest arm movement will produce an aggressive bruise and the flap of leather (or similar) at the tip will create red marks on the skin. In addition, this stick-like instrument delivers a beautifully sadistic sound as it cuts through the air, so be careful not to wake up the neigh-bours!



This is the ultimate in corporal punishment for really naughty boys and girls! A tawse is a thick strip of leather which is split into a number of tails at one end. The amount and length of these tails varies. Similar to a flogger, it delivers an intense and thuddy pain which causes reddening of the skin.



This tool really is the definition of ‘strapping’! Typically a broad, heavy strip of leather, with an easy to grip handle, a strap is easy to control and can be used in a variety of positions. Don’t get carried away; it’s a real stinger and guarantees to leave a lasting impression.


Of course these are only some of the many instruments that can be used. Please refer to our diagrams below, which show in more detail the pain and skin markings you can expect from each. We recommend that beginners start by using only the hand, gradually increasing intensity. When you are both comfortable, move on to a short range implement and slowly work your way up. Always test new tools on yourself first and steadily increase the force at which you hit.

Short Range Long Range Spanking Intensity

It is important to vary the frequency and placement of hits. Some people like to follow each hit with pleasurable stimulation, but that is entirely up to you. Here at UberKinky we try to time each hit so that they are approximately three seconds apart.

rope care


Well, it’s pretty much a given that the bottom will be feeling slightly tender after their severe punishment! So in order to help them feel brand spanking new, here are a few tips.

After an intense impact play scene (think canes, whips and severe flogging) the bottom may slip into sub space. Some may drift between reality and sub space. Some may be an absolute shaking, blubbering wreck not from the pain but from the chemical rush. Be ready to provide cuddles, reassurance, a drink of water, a soft warm blanket and a bit of chocolate to nibble on. Give them the time and space to recover; we don't want them coming back down to Earth with a 'thud'!

Our Best Selling
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So, you finally understand why spanking is such a hit, but you need some help getting your hands on the ideal implement? Here are the UberKinky bestsellers;

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rope care

What Next?

So, you’re hungry for more? Well luckily for you UberKinky always has more to give! Check out the following guides for more detailed information on specific spanking tips, tools and techniques, so that you can really hit the ground running in your play;

Beginner's Guide To Whips
Beginners Guide To Paddling
Beginners Guide To Caning
Beginner's Guide To Flogging

Now, we wouldn’t want that heightened sensitivity to go to waste, would we?! So why not introduce a little pinwheel pleasure to your play? For those with stamina this will really tantalise and tease the senses. But for those that need a rest, it has been well earned... so don’t push things; there’s no need to run before you can walk!