How to have better orgasms
Before we get started here, I’d like to emphasise that sex is not all about orgasms. You can still have a great time having any kind of sex and without achieving orgasm. And nor is orgasm achieved simply by pressing a button; it doesn’t always happen easily and it doesn’t happen every time.
All that being said, orgasms are f**king amazing.
Whether you’re brand new to the world of self pleasure, are discovering your sexuality for the first time, or simply want to take your orgasms to the next level by having better ones, then this is the guide for you. So let us take you through how to have the BEST orgasm of your life.
1. Take a break from the big O
Yes, you read that right: a sex toy company is recommending you take a break from orgasms. Before you roll your eyes and click away, stick with me. Taking a (short) break from wanking and/or shagging can almost act as hitting the ‘reset’ button on your orgasms. Both penis and vulva owners have reported being able to have more intense and more frequent orgasms when they abstain for a few days. Worth a try, right?
2. Get the oxytocin flowing
The key to pleasure and orgasms is all down to this glorious hormone called oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. A study from the journal ‘Hormones and Behaviour’ found that couples who were dosed with oxytocin from a nasal spray had more intense orgasms compared to other couples who received a placebo.
And since you probably don’t have a nasal spray dosed with the love hormone in your bedside table, you’ll have to give yourself an oxytocin boost the natural way. You can do this by cuddling, hugging and kissing your partner - try doing this before you get down and dirty rather than just after.
3. Focus on foreplay
You’re probably already well aware of the importance of foreplay - it’s often the best part. But not only does it get you all warmed up for the main event, it can actually help with your climaxes, no matter what kind of genitals you have. Foreplay is so important is because orgasms actually require three key ingredients:
- Vasocongestion - This is the blood that flows to your pelvic region
- Myotonia - The muscular tension throughout your body
- Your brain’s natural opiate system - this turns you on and produces oxytocin
TLDR; focus on building up your arousal, touching key “hotspots” rather than skipping straight to penetration. Really take your time and we promise it’ll be worth it.
4. Tune into your cycle
If you’re a vulva-owner who experiences periods, then tuning into your natural menstrual cycle could help you unlock better orgasms. During the first two days of your cycle, testosterone levels skyrocket, along with your libido, and your nipples and clit becomes SUPER sensitive. This is the time where you could experience orgasms more easily, and achieve multiple or blended orgasms. Your libido also shoots up during ovulation too (for obvious reasons) so get down to it, just remember to use protection.
5. Put focus on the clit
Did you know that the clitoris is jam-packed with approximately 8,000 nerve endings? And they’re just waiting to be stimulated by you or your partner. So if you want to make orgasm more likely, then that’s where you need to focus your attention. Very few vulva-owners are actually able to orgasm through penetration alone, so bring the clit back into the mix.
Try positions such as ‘cowgirl’ or sex from behind which either allow you to grind your clitoris against your partner, or for them to stimulate with a free hand. You may also decide to just stick to your favourite positions and introduce a bullet vibrator to deliver some powerful buzzes and help you cross that finish line.
6. Lube, lube, and more lube
No matter what sexual acts you enjoy - whether it’s P in V, anal or a good old fashioned hand job - lube makes everything better. Lube has a stigma about it that just isn’t warranted - misinformed people assume there must be something ‘wrong’ - but even if you’re soaking wet, lube can (and should) still be used. Not only does it reduce nasty friction, it can lead to higher levels of arousal, pleasure, and satisfaction.
Remember, if you’re using a silicone toy, you should be using a water-based lube. Silicone lube with a silicone toy can erode and damage it - which nobody wants.
7. Stimulate elsewhere
You’ve heard the phrase ‘don’t put all your eggs in one basket’, right? So why just focus 100% of your attention on one spot? Of course, we’ve advised that you spend a lot of time on the clitoris, but don’t forget the other erogenous zones of the body. The nipples, the neck, the hip bones and inner thighs are all places that deserve your attention. But, if you own a vulva, don’t forget about an important spot inside of you - the G-spot!
This small, walnut-feeling spot, located a few inches inside the vagina, can help you achieve incredible pleasure, even if it doesn’t get you to orgasm. You can use your fingers to stimulate or try reaching with a dildo. For handsfree and solo fun, try a suction cup dildo so you can play with yourself whilst you ride.
8. Try not to orgasm
Again, hear us out on this one, but often we put so much pressure on ourselves to cross that finish line that it stops us from getting close. We’re in our heads too much. To get out of your head, agree with your partner that the goal isn’t orgasm, but rather to both enjoy yourselves and get as much pleasure as possible. If you do happen to orgasm, then that’s great, but your goal should be to enjoy yourselves and learn more about what makes you squirm in all the right ways
