Despite the fact that we all do it, there’s just something truly unbearable about someone discovering your secret sex toy stash. To keep “me time” private, we need to think a little more creatively about finding the perfect hiding spot, eradicating the risk of your favourite dildo becoming a dog’s squeaky toy, or it being the next topic of conversation at the dinner table. Save yourself the embarrassment with these five genius places to hide your sex toys, where your family and friends will NEVER think to look.
1) In your wardrobe
Okay, so this may be the first place the kids look when trying to find their Christmas presents, but the chances of finding a dildo in there is definitely less likely - or so they think. There are so many potential hiding spots in your wardrobe just waiting to be used, from inside a shoe box to buried in the pocket of a coat or dressing gown. If you really want to keep your sex toys away from wandering hands, hide them discreetly on a top ledge out of sight.
2) Sock drawer
Vibrators are wonderful in so many different ways, with one particularly useful feature being that they’re easier to hide than a huge dildo - don’t worry, we’ll be revealing some places to hide your gigantic gaspers shortly.
Cue, the sock drawer. Now we know that a few of you might have used your underwear drawer to bury your sex toys, but this is a more obvious place. When deviously placed inside a rolled up pair of socks, however, you can feel rest assured that no prying eyes will come across your artificial playmates. You will need to remember which sock you’ve hidden your toy in though to save any awkwardness whilst getting ready in the morning.
3) Under bed storage
If you’re lucky enough to have under bed storage, you’ve just found yourself yet another genius place to hide your sex toys. Offering plenty of space, complete with optional organisational dividers for the sex toy connosieurs out there, you’ll know exactly where to reach when engaging in a spot of self pleasure. Just make sure to separate your fuck buddies from your folders - let’s keep work and play separate, eh?
4) Poster tube
Ideal for your slim sex toys, a poster tube is one of our favourite hiding places, being that you’d never expect to find a dildo staring back at you. Due to a poster tube’s length, you could store multiple items in here without fear that they’ll be discovered, so why not throw some lube in there too?
5) Suitcase
As promised, one of the best places to hide your larger sex toys is inside a suitcase - but this time, you’ll be jetting off to pleasure island. With plenty of compartments to make use of, you could secretly store away anything from your costumes and uniforms, to your sexy lingerie. Now that all of your toys and outfits are safely hidden away in one place, there’s no excuse to not get dressed up for the big event.
How to store sex toys
Before deciding on any of the above spots to hide your sex toys, you’ve got to prepare them for storage first. Although it doesn’t sound particularly exciting, it’s a crucial step to ensuring that your toys are just as clean as they are cum-tastic. After you’ve finished doing your business, take the necessary scrubbing steps, depending on the material your toy is made out of, or whether it has batteries - here’s how to clean a dildo. For a method that’s quick and easy, we recommend using our Sinnovator Anti-bacterial Toy Cleaner, which is safe to use on any of your latex, rubber and silicone fuckbuddies. When you’ve given your toys a bathe, pop them in their original box or wrap them up in a silk bag to keep the dust and grime away, and they’ll be ready for your next sexy sesh.
Now that you know of the best places to hide your sex toys, why not add to your collection? We have plenty of playmates to suit any fetish, and if you need some extra help with meeting your perfect match, get in touch through our anonymous help service today.
With UberKinky's five genius places to hide your sex toys, you can keep your “me time” as private as it is pleasurable. Be prepared to think creatively.