How to make your partner squirt

There are certain things in life that we know aren’t real. Unicorns, centaurs, squirting… Wait, hold up. That last one isn’t actually a myth, despite what you probably heard in high school from teenage boys who didn’t know a vagina from a video game. Squirting - otherwise known as the female orgasm - is very much a real thing. And it’s not as mysterious and elusive as people make out.

The truth about squirting

Adult cinema has led us to believe that squirting is a lot easier and a lot more common than it really is. And that when it does happen, that it’ll shoot across the room. This is actually far from the truth. To get all science-y for a moment, a 2013 review from the Journal of Sexual Medicine, reported that only between 10- 54% of women can squirt. And even when they do, it’s less like a squirt with force and more like a… fall?

So, what is squirting?

You know how people with penises are able to ejaculate? Well, squirting is kind of like that. Except it has absolutely nothing to do with reproduction. If someone with a vulva gets to a stage of sufficient arousal, then sometimes they’re able to “squirt” a clear (ish) liquid out of their urethra. This can happen in varying volume amounts, and it certainly doesn’t mean you did ‘better’ if there was more. A common question that comes up is; is squirting the same as peeing? Not quite. In fact, a 2011 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine discovered that most people’s ‘squirt’ is made up of watered-down pee, and sometimes a very teeny tiny bit of female ejaculate: a white, milky substance that comes from the Skene’s glands.

Ok, enough with the science, how do I actually make someone squirt?

Hold your horses. Before we tell you how to get wet and wild, ask yourself the question: who am I doing this for? Is it for my own visual gratification, or do I genuinely want to enhance my partner’s pleasure? This isn’t just something that you should go ahead and do; make sure you talk to your partner about it beforehand, and bear in mind that squirting isn’t always accompanied by an orgasm, and not everyone finds it pleasurable.

First things first, have the conversation

Whether you want to bring it up in conversation or your partner does, it’s important that the subject is broached. Research it together if your partner isn’t quite sure of what’s involved, and make sure you’re prepped. Have a safeword in place that your partner can say if they want you to stop - and make sure you follow it. That’s rule number one of trying anything new. If they’re not into it, then back off.

How to squirt

Once everyone is onboard, it’s time to get down to it. Quite literally. Oh, and you might want to put a towel down.

Arousal is key

The first step to getting your partner to gush like Niagara Falls in flood season, is to make sure they are as turned on as possible. The body needs to be primed properly in order for squirting to occur; now’s not the time to skimp on the foreplay - not that you ever should. Being properly aroused helps to engorge the perennial and urethral sponge to not only make them more sensitive to touching, but to also build up the fluids in the Bartholin’s glands. These bad boys are responsible for your partner being (vaginally) wet in the first place. Arousal also helps to work up fluid in the paraurethral glands, whose job it is to lubricate the urethra. So, what does arousal look like? Well, it’s anything that’s going to get your partner hot and bothered. What do they like? Do they prefer clitorial stimulation? G-spot penetration? Fingering, P-in-V sex or anal play? Whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, really gets them going, now’s the time to whip out all the tools at your disposal.

Ramp up the stimulation

Once you (and your partner) are satisfied that they’re sufficiently aroused, it’s time to really focus on two sensitive spots: the clit and the G-spot. Every person is different; some people prefer gentle external stimulation around the clitoris and vulva, whereas others prefer a hard and firm G-spot pounding. We know you’ve not got an abundance of hands to utilise, and our extremities can get tired, which is why we’ve got a toy or two to help you along the way.

• Dildos - The perfect way to incorporate some strong internal stimulation. Thankfully, there’s a whole wide world of dildos out there for you to play with, and they cater to every fantasy. Keep this real with a realistic dildo, or perhaps you want to give into a deviant desire? Our animal dildos are the perfect way to do this; from horse dildos and dog dildos through to dragon dildos, nothing is off limits here
• Bullet vibrators - For some light clitoral stimulation, keep bullet vibrators focused on the outside, and move around the clit and labia to hit all of those nerve endings. Did you know there’s 8,000 down there?
• Wand vibrators - If light and easy just ain’t cutting it for you, take things to a whole other level with a wand vibrator. These really focus intense vibrations and stimulations on the clitoris. Just be sure to back off if it’s not quite to their liking

If you’re using your own digits, then don’t just go rooting around in there and hope for the best. Know exactly what you’re looking for. The G-spot is located inside to the front - towards the belly button - and sits just a few inches inside the vagina. Insert a finger (or two) with your palm facing upwards and curl your digits back towards you. Search gently for a small raised area, with a walnut-like texture. Congratulations! You have found the elusive G-Spot.

Listen/watch your partner

What you’re working towards here is some major stimulation and arousal levels, so chances are parts might start to get overly sensitive or even a little sore. So, listen to your partner if they say something doesn’t feel quite right, or if they wince or gasp in a painful way. If you notice this - especially when you’re stimulating the G-spot - move onto other areas, but don’t let the momentum slip. Simply focus your efforts somewhere else while they recover.

Push through the ‘pee’ feeling

Once your partner starts to feel record levels of arousal - you should start to hear that ‘macaroni in a pot’ sound, and it’ll start to feel like a heavy flood down there - then things are starting to get close. Chances are your partner has experienced the pre-squirting feeling before, but they backed off. That’s because a lot of vulva-owners report feeling an urge to pee right before they squirt. I mean, this makes a lot of sense when you understand that squirt does come from the urethra. But this can make a lot of people hold it in or back away from the feeling, but rest assured that it is an incredibly common feeling and they won’t wet the bed - push through it.

When the squirting starts

Once your partner is on the brink of squirting or has started, move away from internal G-spot stimulation, but don’t stop. Keep playing with their clit as this will keep the arousal and the pleasure going for as long as possible.

Aftercare

If you ended up soaked in your partner’s juices, then hey, that’s great! But it’s also equally OK if they didn’t quite cross that finish line. Some people find it too intense, or they just can’t push through that ‘peeing’ feeling. But regardless, don’t neglect the aftercare. Aftercare, if you’re not familiar, is a common and very necessary practice within BDSM. Think of it as a post-sex wind-down ritual. Some sex play, not necessarily BDSM, can be intense and take its toll both physically and mentally, so it’s important to bring your partner back to reality, gently and carefully. Here’s a few ways to look after your partner after some intense stimulation like this:

• Do they need to orgasm? If they didn’t cross the squirting finish line, then they might still feel intense sensations down below. If they need a release, help them get there however you can.
• Cuddling. The oh-so simple act of cuddling is an incredibly effective aftercare tool. Not only does it release the oxytocin hormone, but it can soothe your partner if they’ve just experienced something quite intense.
• Sleep. Sex, even non-penetrative sex, can zap a person’s energy. Do they need a quick power nap?
• Talking about it. We’re big believers in the importance of communication with any kind of sex play. Recounting what you’ve just been through - whether it’s recapping the scene or discussing what you liked or didn’t like - can be an effective way to recover.