One thing’s for sure, a person that radiates confidence also oozes sex appeal. There’s just something about owning the power of pleasure, and being in complete control of your partner’s climax that’s a real turn-on. Whether you’ve always been so inclined, or perhaps you want to dip your toe into the world of BDSM, this guide will transform you from background banger to star of the show - telling you everything you’ll ever need to know about how to dominate your partner in bed. Are you ready to take the reins?
Radiate confidence
Before you dominate your partner in bed, you’ve got to get into the right headspace. Rather than simply playing the role of a master Dom, you’ve got to believe that you ARE. What makes you feel sexy and at your best? Get into that headspace and you’re already halfway there.
Keep reminding yourself that your partner is completely in awe of you (they’re with you for a reason, right?) and try not to let worries about your flaws rise to the surface. If it takes speaking affirmations in front of a mirror to remind yourself, then so be it. What you may perceive to be an imperfection could be sexy as hell to your partner, so instead of being so hard on yourself, instead focus on getting something else hard, or wet.
Set boundaries
If this is your first time unleashing the Dom within, it’s so important to set boundaries before taking to the sheets. Discover what it is that gets your partner off - from positions to sex toys - and ask how much would be too much. If either you, your partner or both of you are BDSM beginners, decide on a safe word to use that’ll put an immediate stop to your playtime. Listen to your body throughout the whole experience, and don’t be afraid to cut things short. Let’s not forget that there are plenty of ways to dominate your partner in bed without going full throttle.
Take control
Besides exuding confidence, how do you really take control of your partner in the bedroom? Anything from the way you carry yourself to the authoritative language and tone of voice you use throughout shows your sub that you’re the one in charge. It soundy cringey, but get yourself back in front of that mirror and imagine you’re whipping your partner into shape - practice makes a good pound, after all.
Role playing
For the subs out there who are looking to make the big switch, you may find it easier to dominate your partner in bed by temporarily playing a different persona. The answer? Fetish wear. Or disconnect from normality through medical play and run your very own horny hospital for the day, promising to tend to your patient’s every need if they carry out a few favours for you first. Or why not go full Dom with a dominatrix outfit? With plenty of luscious latex on show, your partner definitely won’t be stepping out of line anytime soon.
Dominant sex positions
What’s the best way to spice up your sex life and bring back the control at the same time? By throwing some new shapes, of course. If vanilla is no longer your favourite flavour and you’re desperately searching for some new dominant sex positions to try out, you’ve come to the right place. There’s no missionary in sight here.
Upside down doggy
We all love a bit of doggy-style, but if you want a sex position with a bit more bite, upside down doggy really takes the bone. The penis-owner of your pair, or the vulva-owner wearing a strap on, will be the Dom, standing above their sub - who will be on their hands and knees with their ass in the air. This is not only a great way to enhance your flexibility (which will do you a massive favour in the bedroom), but it’s so much easier to get deep in there and hit all the right spots. If your sub is still gagging for more, why not get a vibrator involved for some clit stimulation? But let’s remember that you’re the one in control, so they can only come on your command.
Squatting cowgirl
Up next, a position that’s even wilder than your standard cowgirl sex position; say howdy partner to the squatting cowgirl. As the name suggests, you’ll be getting into a squat position over your partner, rather than kneeling. Usher your partner to get down onto the bed, looking into their eyes as you straddle their disco stick. The best part about this position is that you have even more control over depth and pace, so bang away to your heart’s content with the knowledge that you have the power to switch things up. If you really want to assert your dominance on your partner, why not get some sexy restraints involved? Experiment with blindfolds to remove the senses and really heighten the pleasure, or a ball gag for restricting your partner’s voice - if you’re new to the latter, just be sure to come up with a ‘safe gesture’ so that you’ll know if and when to stop.
Bent over and bound up
For this power position, bend your partner over (we know, another obvious one), but this time include some restraints - think handcuffs and even a flogger if you’re feeling extra frisky. Pound as you please from the behind, using a dildo to cover both holes if needed, being sure to keep a good grip of your partner's wrists to assert your dominance. Again, always listen out for that safeword.
Be a tease
You can never be too much of a tease when dominating your partner, so if you’ve ever come across the term ‘edging’ before, now is the time to put it into practice. It’s all about getting your sub ever so close to the finish line but tripping them up just before they’re about to cross and claim their medal. Remember what we said before? You’re in control of your partner’s climax, so make that known.
To get them right on the edge, whisper dirty words in their ear, focusing on other parts of the body before slowly but surely working your way towards the main target - nipple clamps are perfect for this, producing just the right amount of pain to bring a whole load of pleasure.
If you’re looking for more ways to dominate your partner in bed, why not explore our range of sex toys today? With something out there to suit every fetish, you definitely won’t be short of choice. Get in touch with us today to get the most out of your next playtime.
